Eating Crow and Letting Go
I want to begin this with a story from my college days at Central Christian College. I used to go to get my mail every day at the student union around 11:30 a.m. and would always see my friend Jenelle putting up the mail . And, like clockwork, I knew that she would have the radio station tuned to Paul Harvey. I loved hearing his daily broadcasts and hearing his “The Rest of the Story.” I was also fortunate to have read many of his books during that time and was always fascinated with his gift of storytelling. He inspired me to go beyond, to always learn, “the rest of the story.” As a result, I have always wanted to know more and be inquisitive.
But this story, is not about me wanting to know more, it’s about me, being an ass. As many of you know, I am a Buddhist. But this is not about my faith but about an incident which I feel needs to be shared. I will begin by sharing a a promise I have made repeatedly to my family and friends to not judge anyone of them, regardless of their faith, politics , personal views but instead to love them regardless and support them. And I will readily admit that I have failed in that.
A few nights ago, I was at a benefit where my friends did a “Turn about” fundraiser, where they dressed in Drag and performed to raise money. I posted a pic on Facebook that said, “Gurls will be Gurls” and got a response that said “except they’re not”. Yes, in a heated moment, I responded by deleting that person, someone who I love, regardless of our different views and went into a tirade explaining my frustration, my anger against those against GLBT Equality and myself being Gay. And I even posted a challenge to my friends that they either loved me or could leave me. Guess what, I was way wrong! And this blog is to apologize for that. See, I went against what I had promised. Yep, I have different views than most. I believe in certain things that some of my family and friends believe differently about. But you know what, I have learned from those differences.
I have posted my love for all of my family and friends that are in my life and let this one post upset me enough to blow a gasket. And, I am nothing but sorry and humbled. One of my Life Lessons that I have been working on is forgiveness, and I’m thinking that this is what this Blog should be focused on. So, I called this post, “Eating Crow and Letting Go.”
I think this will be one of my Resolutions for the New Year, Letting Go. To be honest, it’s kind of my yearly theme since I was in my teens but this incident has brought it to the fore front of importance to me. I was ready to end a relationship over a few words. As my nephew would say when he gets upset at me, “Not Cool Uncle Lee!” And I can say that to myself, “Not Cool Lee!”
So where does the eating crow come in? Back to the beginning of my Paul Harvey story. Listening to him and reading his books, I have been encouraged to find, the rest of the story on colloquialisms that we use from time to time. This one hits home. I am “eating crow” and asking for forgiveness from someone that I love for being an ass. And yes, it is bitter, but I don’t want to live without this person in my life. I made a mistake; I’m standing up and asking for them to forgive me.
The thing I want most from this is to reunite with the one I harmed, ask for forgiveness and to make amends. But I also want to share this and encourage others. Jesus, when asked how many times we should forgive others said seventy times seven, which in my translation is always. I was angered, I can forgive but Most importantly, I am seeking forgiveness.
In Buddhism, we believe in the 3 Poisons which keep us from our full potential of Enlightenment: Anger, Attachment and Ignorance. I believe I hit on all of them in this incident. I was angry. I was attached to my pride. And most importantly, I was ignorant.
We all have our different beliefs and that, I believe is what makes the world not all that bad. I think we need, as my Friend Dona says, “Pull our big girl panties up and deal with it.” We won’t get very far if all we do is argue and fight. What it takes is being adults, sitting down, sometimes agreeing, sometimes disagreeing but finding common ground and sometimes agreeing to disagree, with love and respect and determination to cause no harm to each other.
So, I hope that this will help you. As my Hillbilly Grandma would say, “Honey, in order to keep your relations right, sometimes ya gotta eat Crow.” And in honor of one of my Heroes, Paul Harvey, I leave you with this, “Rest of the Story” about Eating Crow.
What is the origin of “eat crow” or “eating crow,” and exactly what does it mean?
To eat crow means ‘to suffer humiliation’, and specifically ‘to be forced to admit to having made an error, as by retracting an emphatic statement’. An example from the mystery writer “Ellery Queen” in 1930: “I should merely be making an ass of myself if I accused someone and then had to eat crow.”
Crows are notoriously disagreeable birds, in every respect. Scavengers, they are not suitable for eating. An old joke among outdoorsmen holds that if you get lost in the woods without any food and manage to catch a crow, you should put it in a pot with one of your boots, boil it for a week, and then eat the boot. Eating crow, therefore, is an especially unpleasant and humiliating thing to have to do.
The expression to eat crow is surprisingly recent. It is originally and still chiefly an Americanism, first found in the mid nineteenth century. The original form was to eat boiled crow.
From Jarringt (email voided)